Pikes Peak Challenge Take 8
The Pikes Peak Challenge is the primary fund raiser for the Brain Injury Alliance of Colorado. This organization does a tremendous amount of work to help people with brain injuries better access the world. They help with resource navigation making sure people are aware of the opportunities that are available to them. They set up support groups statewide both in person and virtual format, these can be for people with brain injuries or their caregivers and provides a safe space to share experiences and build a sense of community. They provide education for professionals as well from Brain Injury 101 to developing screening tools. They have a directory of professionals and community services on their website. Essentially, they are helping people that have had their world drastically changed live a better more supported life.
This is my 8th year participating in the Pikes Peak Challenge and supporting the Brain injury Alliance through this event. My family started participating after the death of my brother Jesse by suicide in 2009. We feel strongly that his decision was likely influenced by multiple head injuries he experienced while playing baseball. For my family it’s really a way to take one of the worst moments of our lives and try to use that as a platform to help others. The secondary benefit for me personally is having a yearly platform to discuss my brother and reflect on how I’m feeling. Death of family members, especially when it’s by suicide, just doesn’t come up often in conversation, it’s not that people don’t care I think it has more with not really knowing what to say. Honestly 16 years later I don’t think there really is a correct way to discuss the topic.
I’ve recently been told that it’s ok to feel multiple things at one time. If you’re feeling down you’re not discounting all the things in your life that you are excited about you’re just feeling down because that’s part of the vast spectrum of emotion. It’s a simple incite but for me has been really helpful. Most recently with the addition of Cade to the family as well as Callen being 2 going on 3 I’m allowed to feel both exhausted and overjoyed at the same time. Jesse would be becoming a grandpa this year; it’s ok to feel over the moon excited for Sharon and Ethan but also pissed that I don’t get to joke around with Jesse about being a grandpa. I guess I’ll have to joke with Courtney about that double time. Thinking about and sharing memories of Jesse always bring back that familiar ache in my stomach, that pull of loss, sometimes harder than others. I don’t think that will ever change but it’s possible to feel joy and sadness simultaneously and that’s ok. Callen has started to take an interest in playing catch and that leap of joy when he runs up to me and says, “Lets play catch” is indescribable, honestly one of the best feelings. I grab my glove a maroon/dark brown Rawlings Trap-eze style individually hand made from Italian leather, as much a work of art as a baseball glove can be! It was my high school graduation present from one of the people that I most looked up to into the world, my big brother Jesse. Indescribable joy and sadness can be present at the same time and for me it involves playing catch with my son, but I wouldn’t trade either of those feelings or memories for all the treasure in the world.
I’m so grateful for the Pikes Peak Challenge as it gives me an opportunity to reflect on the life of my brother Jesse. It’s difficult to comprehend that he passed away 16 years ago. In some ways the time helps ease the ache, but these past years I feel like it has made it a little more acute. Every milestone, life accomplishment, new family member….. I wish Jesse was here to share in the celebrations. The Pikes Peak challenge isn’t just a hike. It’s a way to honor my brother Jesse, to support a cause I believe in, and to keep the conversation about mental health and brain injury going. The Brain Injury Alliance of Colorado (BIAC) continues to do meaningful, vital work for survivors, caregivers, and families navigating a life changed by brain injury. They help people re-learn how to live in a world that doesn’t always know how to support them. So I’m going to put on my hiking boots, more likely trail running shoes, and will make the hike to the top of Pikes Peak to keep the memory of my brother alive and to support a great cause!
If you would like to support me and Team Jesse this year, there are a few ways you can help.
- Join me on the hike! Team Jesse is always evolving, and all are welcome! It’s truly an amazing experience
- Donate to my fundraiser page: 100% of the proceeds go to the BIAC and the people they serve
- Spread the Word: Share this story, have open conversations about challenging topics like mental health, find a way to make a positive impact!
- Send positive vibes for me and Team Jesse as we take on this challenge again this year on September 6th. Your encouragement means the world!
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and share this experience with me.
As always: If you’re looking for me, you can find me on the bright side!
With Gratitude,
TNT
Team Jesse
Donation checks can be made payable to the Brain Injury Association of Colorado.
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